last day

today is my last day here...by monday i'll be in a new place with a new group of people...my last day here busy with marking papers and assignments..as i promised my students i'll be the one who will mark the paper...talking about the new place..i did wish that this will be the turning point of my life..this is my chance to prove whether i am capable to do so or not...so wish me luck!

IDENTITY CRISIS

i think i caught up in a situation where i no longer know who i am..who i'm supposed to be..who i wanted to be..i keep asking myself these days..whether i treat myself fairly..or the most important thing is whether i treat other people fairly..am i here for the sack of myself or other ppl?..am i being selfish by simply ignoring my own principles for the sack of fulfilling my needs?...i knew i cant do that but do i have other choice?..it seem that ppl are not also doing justice to me...i am so afraid rite now...clock is ticking every second...i'm afraid i do not have time to pull it off together...

erm...i think i need a fresh start..some different place where i can leave all the things behind..because i cant seem to forgive and forget..somewhere inside me i cant hold on much longer..

Chris Richardson - Geek in the Pink

my new crush, my new eye candy...hhaaahhhah

my new crush

ehehehhee..i knew i'll be laughing all the way..

i have a new crush..it has been a long time since i have crushes on people..and rite now my heart beats once again..hahhaahaha poyo jek..
so..i'm presenting my new crush...

CHRIS RICHARDSON

chris performing 'geek in the pink'

semalam masuk minggu yang kedua aku tgk mamat ni nyanyi..nak kata dia ade powerful voice cam josh groban tu xde la tapi suara dia best in his kind of way...mula2 aku tgk dia ni cam ala2 justin pun ade..maybe kepala dia botak kut..hhehhee mata dia plak cam kawan sydney yg dlm alias tu..aku pun x ingat nama dia..mata camni cantek..lembut jek nak tgk..cam budak2 baik jek...ehheheheeh..kalu dah suka tu..boleh la ckp mcm2 kan....
so so far 3 judges tu mmg ckp chris ni bagus la..terutamanya randy la..hehhehehe...so mintak2 la dia duk lama2 sket dlm AI..best gak tgk dia ni tiap2 mg..hehhehehh

RINDU

hari ni rase rindu la kat mak and abah..last monday aku kena teman HOD pegi DOSH Kuantan..mase on the way tu mak call kate dewang ade kat kuantan gak tgk aida..so aku pegi la jupe mak ngan abah dulu sebelum pegi DOSH..
lepas dah salam sume abah bgtau dia dah complete 3 kali rawatan utk lutut dia and he showed me his leg..i told him..i think his leg is getting thinner despite his big tough body..so dia ckp biasa la..kaki dah tua..hehehehe so coming to realize that he's actually 54 tis year..kadang2 aku tgk abah mmg still lagi kuat bekerja..cuma biasa la skang ni dia dah ade la sakit2 tu..walaupun x memudaratkan tapi aku kesian gak tgk dia..dah tua2 ni pun masih gigih bekerja..cari duit untuk anak2 dan family..kadang2 malu dengan diri sendiri br keje sket2 tapi mengeluhnya bukan main lagi...abah ngn mak pun selalu tlg aku tiap kali ade problem..tu la yg paling aku sedih tu...dah besar2 ni pun masih nyusahkan mak ngan abah lagi..aku doa sgt2 moga mak n abah dipanjang umur untuk tgk setiap anak dewang ni berjaya di dunia dan di akhirat...semoga keluarga kami dirahmati dan diberkati Allah selalu dan diberi kelapangan rezeki dan bahagia di dunia dan di akhirat...
sometimes bila aku tgk2 dan pk2 semula..x ape la kalu aku x ade sape2 kat dunia ni as long as aku ade mak dan abah...apa la sgt dugaan kehilangan org yg aku syg daripada aku hilang mak dan abah...i always promised myself to put my family before me first rather than put myself upfront....Ya Allah semoga kau panjangkan umur mak dan abah...Amin..abah n mak...words cant describe how much i love u...

Not Ready To Make Nice

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting

I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price
And I'll keep paying

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and
I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can't you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don't mind sayin'
It's a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Sayin' that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and
I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and
I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting